Disillusion

Kris’ favorite part of the movie is always when they kiss.  That moment when the world stands still and the lovers embrace.  He thought of that now in the Hall of Mirrors.  He thought of her lips on his. He watched her in the mirrors, as she laughed at her misshapen figure in their oblong reflection.  He touched the small of her back. I’m so fat! He resisted the urge to tell her that she wasn’t. That she was the prettiest girl he knew.  She looked up and her blue eyes met his brown.  Nervous he looked above her head, trying to focus on her blond hair instead of the reflection that was not his.  This was the first time he had ever used it like this.  Everywhere he looked he saw the lie staring back at him.

            “Hey babe, lets get outta here.” His voice was too deep.  It made him cringe. 

            “Done!” She grabbed his hand. Now I wont look fat in that one mirror. How cold was it outside? Hmm…I knew I should’ve worn a sweater.  He dropped her hand.  It was too hard to hear and keep the mirrors from shaking. “How do we even get out of here?” She ran her finger along a mirror as she smiled at him.

            The exit was easy to find for Kris.  Emerging from the odd shaped doorway he was met by a perfect carnival, full of lights and life.  The Merry-go-round filled most of his vision, the horses making their well known rounds, its lights bright in the darkness and casting a golden glow over everything around it, the Ferris wheel rose high behind it and to the right.  The lights on its cross beams were like red stars in the dark sky.  Kris’ gaze rose until he saw the full moon, it too was golden.  The whole night was golden.  Her hand fished its way into his. “Kenny, I am so glad you brought me here! I have wanted to for so long.” Ever since Kris described it to me.

            Kris turned and saw her looking off towards the area of games and food.  “You thought of me.” The music halted and for a second everything seemed to be looking at Katie.

            “I always think about you!” She turned to meet his stare.  The music started again. “Let’s play some games.”  He saw the people milling around mindlessly in the golden glow.  The crowd seemed to thin out whenever the couple approached.  They always seemed to have their privacy.  They talked and no one could hear them.  At on point she laughed and leaned her head onto his shoulder.  The Merry-go-round’s music skipped a beat. 

            “So whatcha want, babe?” Kris asked.

            “You have grown quite fond of that word tonight, Kenny!” She giggled and placed her hand on his chest.  Why do guys always want to buy girls everything? Oh that panda is cute! “And I don’t want anything – darling.” She smiled as the new word left her soft lips.

            Kris stepped passed her to the Bottle shoot. “All I have to do is shoot down these stupid bottles and its yours.” He spoke of the large stuffed panda that hung amidst many other smaller stuffed animals. 

            “How did…” She looked almost concerned and Kris’ heart skipped beat.  Then her features relaxed into a smile. “Don’t let me down then. You’re getting my hopes up.”  And walking behind him she wrapped her hands around his waist. “Why are you so good to me Kenny?” she sighed.

            Kris held the toy rifle limp in his hands.  His face fell as images of Katie and Kenny raced through his head, or rather Katie’s head.  Closing his eyes against the images he shot three times.  All the bottles fell, and the silent attendant handed them the panda.  Her smile was worth it. 

            Carrying the panda they walked onto the merry-go-round, the silent attendant taking their tickets with a smile. It was just like in the movies Kris had seen so many times. He knew everything was perfect.  Tonight was perfect.  But he didn’t trust it. How could he?

            They made their way past the ornate white and black horses and leaned up against the middle beam of the merry-go-round.  “I love this, Kenny.” she said looking out past Kris.

            He placed his hand on her arm and leaned in close to her cheek. In her mind all he could see was the same reflection of Kenny that he had seen in the Hall of Mirrors.  He whispered “I got you something.”  He knew he had to give it to her, but it was heavy in his hand, his eyes dropped.  She looked at him questioning as he held up a beautiful ruby bracelet that shown like the red star-like lights on the Ferris wheel.  A gasp.  She held out her hand, upturned inviting him to tie it on her.  He did as doubt knotted his stomach.

            “This is amazing…this whole night is just perfect! Kenny, I…” she looked up from the bracelet and into his eyes, “I think…I love you.” She leaned up towards him. He leaned down. The music stopped.  Everything was silent.  The horses stood as immovable sentinels guarding them.  He felt her lips and could think of nothing else.  This was his movie’s end.  The lover’s kiss.   

            She pulled back.  Kris?  All he could feel was her panic and confusion. Stepping back he was almost engulfed in darkness.  There was no more golden light surrounding them.  He watched her look around at the dark woods; there was no moon, no stars.  “Kris?” she was confused, her voice unsteady.  He couldn’t do it again.  He couldn’t raise the illusion in her mind.  He saw her look at her hands then touch the bracelet, a thin rope that tied her to the tree that she leaned against.  Her shadowed face uncomprehending and scared looked up at this boy she hardly knew.

            A whimper left his throat and he stepped back further into the darkness.